We wanted to talk about little Larry. May we come in? Call the medics, Dude. Jeffrey, you haven't gone to the doctor. A dick, man! And let me tell you something: I dig your work. Playing one side against the other —in bed with everybody— fabulous stuff, man. The Knutsens. It's a wandering daughter job. Bunny Lebowski, man. Her real name is Fawn Knutsen. Her parents want her back.
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY? A way out west there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At least, that was the handle his lovin' parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. Now, Dude, that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place s'durned innarestin'.
I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some chinaman in Korea took them from me but I went out and achieved anyway. That, or Duder. His Dudeness. Or El Duderino, if you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing. Strong men also cry… Strong men also cry. Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry? Uh, yeah. Probably a vagrant, slept in the car. Or perhaps just used it as a toilet, and moved on.
Do you have any kalhua? This compulsive fornicator is taking my father for the proverbial ride. Tomorrow vee come back und cut off your chonson. Wal, I lost m'chain of thought here. But—aw hell, I done innerduced him enough. …which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide—but sometimes there's a man… sometimes there's a man. Yeah? What do you think happens when you get divorced? You turn in your library card? Get a new driver's license? Stop being Jewish?
LOGJAMMIN'. You're going to enter a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know you stole a car. Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was… He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors, and bowling, and as a surfer explored the beaches of southern California from Redondo to Calabassos. And he was an avid bowler. And a good friend. He died—he died as so many of his generation, before his time. In your wisdom you took him, Lord. As you took so many bright flowering young men, at Khe San and Lan Doc.